Today I am 35w6d. Wow. It’s finally starting to feel less distant. I’m aware it could still be well over a month- the women in my family tend to go quite overdue. But still!
I had a scan today, to check growth and baby’s position again. Baby was head down, and estimated to weigh 2.7kg/ 6 pounds 2 ounces. Amazing! That’s not too far off my birth weight. And it means she could be quite a decent size if she stays in there another 5 weeks. I’d been expecting something smaller- I’m 5’1- but although her legs are measuring a little short, she’s growing well.
It’s reminded me I need to get organised. I tend to get caught up in worry and stop planning for the baby’s arrival because I keep thinking how awful it would be if I lost her, and I’d washed all the clothes, and installed the carseat, and put the buggy together… But of course it would be awful whether or not I’d done all those things. So I’m washing the rest of the newborn sized clothes today, and I’ve set up a change table with little baskets for all the bits and pieces. The car seat and bassinet I might do this weekend with my husband’s help.
I’ve now bought everything I could think of that I might need for the first few months, with the exception of a sunhat (summer baby here in New Zealand). And the reason I haven’t bought that yet is I have my heart set on a particular bonnet and am waiting for it to come back into stock.
Something else I need to do is start seriously preparing for the birth. I took hypnobirthing classes, as well as the regular antenatal classes, and I was supposed to be practicing the breathing and relaxation regularly. I haven’t been doing it at all. It was just another one of those things that made me feel like I was tempting fate by believing I would get to that stage. Plus, my midwife was talking about the possibility of a C-section, as my baby was breech. But she’s head down now, so no excuses.
I have to confess, the thought of a C-section had begun to grow on me. I was definitely feeling ambivalent about it, because I’m from a homebirthing family and do believe that if all is going well natural birth would be the best way for me to go. Plus I was worried about the recovery from a C-section and not being able to drive for 6 weeks now that I’m living rurally. But on the other hand, I couldn’t help but like the idea of having a date that my baby would arrive, and also the feeling that keeping her safe was no longer solely on me- but in the doctor’s hands. I’ve really struggled with trusting my body since the miscarriages, and can’t help but worry at times that it will fail in some way during the birth. But I’ll need to get passed that. Either way it’s out of my control now, and what will be will be. I don’t care how she gets here, as long as she gets here healthy.
I now have 4 days at work left! I reduced to part time for this week and next, so just have Friday to go this week, and then next week I have my last day on Wednesday. Woah. I do feel ready- well my aching body does, but I have so much to get done at work before I go.
As for how I’ve been feeling, well, since I’ve just had a reassuring scan this morning I’m feeling pretty good! My anxiety does tend to slowly build up again, but I’ll see how I go. I’m not expecting to have any more scans.
My hips hurt, my pelvis hurts, my lower back hurts… I can barely walk at the moment. But I just tell myself it is all part of it, and I truly don’t take it for granted. Also, my belly button piercing scar hurts. I got my belly button pierced when I was 14, and took it out at 21, and the piercing site aches and is looking pretty stretched. I’m a little worried it will rip (sorry, it’s gross I know). But we’ll see. I currently don’t have any stretchmarks that I didn’t already have pre-pregnancy, but my sister’s didn’t pop up until right around her due date and she ended up completely covered in them. So who knows.
Just hoping now for the next few weeks to go quickly…